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Archive for the ‘psychology’ Category


I can never have what I want, as the wanting is in the way of having 🙂

(Not-wanting – I don’t want this and I don’t want that – is also in the way of having.)

If the only thing I want is to release the wanting (and not-wanting), I can have everything.

And I must want this only want enough that ‘i’ can die for it.

*****

Having everything is the act of wholly seeing, embracing and enjoying everything. As it is. Now.

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Relationship is two joining as one; Union is One expressed as two.

I like to demonstrate this with my hands.

If you interlace the fingers of the two hands, this is a good representation of relationship. The interlaced fingers fit well, supplementing and complementing the “gaps” in the two hands, and feeling secure, comforting and supportive… perhaps for a long while. (A lifetime, even?) Yet ultimately, this arrangement will meet a ceiling as there’s limited room for (soul-level) expansion and realization.

If you now disentangle the hands and then bring them together in a Namaste, this is a good representation of Union. There is connection at all points, levels and dimensions of existence, an allowing for parallel expansion, and a pointing together in shared (Creative) direction. Union is devoid of entanglement, because there’s no “two” to begin with, only two aspects of One! Two outwardly facing aspects/expressions of the greater One, each face/aspect/expression simultaneously being inherently whole and sovereign. (more…)

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The lotus grows in the swamp, upwards and into the light; it neither denies the swamp nor wallows in it.

Translation: Each time we tell a story (which is practically every time we open our mouths / pens or generate an internal narrative) we can tell of the lotus or tell of the swamp.

Practice telling of the lotus – and its growth, its blossoming – long enough, and suddenly the swamp too is realized as “beautiful.”

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Sometime early last year it hit me. Duh! That’s what the term “gentleman” really means (or ought to, anyway)! No, no, not the idea that finally, the savage, brawny creature becomes cultured and cultivated, reigning in his natural instinct for rough-and-tumble and emerging the gentleman. And no, neither do I mean that the gentleman is someone who “is in touch with his feminine side.” Rather, I actually mean that gentleness is at the very core of every man. It is the true nature and true power of the masculine essence! (**Please see P.S. for a note on gender.)

I came to understand this not intellectually, but experientially, inspired by the profound influence of a singularly special man in my life. My phrase (and poem below) for the experience is Like Water to Earth — Water, the most powerful sculpting agent of Earth, all the while doing it with a softening, molding, cleansing, nourishing and life-giving power. Once I saw this, though, it somehow extended to become my all-encompassing view and understanding of all the wonderful men I have (had) in my life — as friends, partners, (partners of friends), brother- or father- or grandfather-figures, and in recent years, also several “son-figures.” (It seems that I am surrounded by and inevitably close to mothers with boys!) And also through the many incredible men who have contributed to the heArt work in publishing Courageous Creativity for over 4 years now — men who transform the world every single day with the extraordinary power of gentleness. (I can’t help giving a special shout out to Nipun Mehta!) Writing this post quickly in the heels of Father’s Day, I have to mention noticing (through social media) that many women appear to be experiencing and acknowledging this quality in the fathers of their children regardless of whether it “worked out” between them or not, (or are/were fortunate to experience it in their own fathers, like I too am now). One particularly beautiful phrase that stuck with me was about the power of fathering with “gentle strength and tender affection.” (more…)

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Soul ChoicesIt seems so obvious as I write this, but have you ever mulled over the connection between “abandonment” and “abandon” (both as nouns)?

Consider abandonment and you immediately feel the gravity of being left, stranded, alone, powerless. Now simply drop the “ment” — that which is done unto you — and suddenly the word acquires a completely different energy. It now sports a certain levity and freedom, a frolicking quality even!

Abandonment is the most primal fear of the human ego, because, if you think about it, from the point of view of survival (which is what the ego is engaged in), it’s next only to death. (more…)

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Buddhist monks are known to create beautiful, elaborate sand mandalas and then wipe them clean. A clean slate, a blank canvas, an empty space for new creation to become possible again and again. Over the last year I have come to realize that perhaps the most loving gift someone can give you is his keen, inquiring, interested, attentive presence, but with utter, unwavering neutrality. Like providing a completely clear mirror in which to look at your true self. Like that clean slate, the blank canvas, the empty space, so you may create yourself anew. (more…)

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As I deepen my practice of a creative life, I often experience what seems like a mis-alignment between the rate at which ideas, inspirations, insights and visions channel through me, and the speed with which I can take creative action for them to manifest into something of value in the world. Sometimes the “limitation” is what everyone talks about – space and time, not being able to do everything at once. Sometimes it is sheer physicality, such as my body hits its limits, or my mind gets too cluttered, and so on. Sometimes it seems like an external limitation (–which I know well is always a reflection or complement of an internal one!–), (more…)

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